Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009


in no particular order, these are some of the things i did in 2009:

1. saw stevie wonder, bono and bruce all on one stage in the same day.

2. stood for 6 hours in sub-freezing temp's to see the 44th president get sworn into office.

3. reconnected with my high school, junior high and elementary school (hello facebook)!

4. dipped my toes into the atlantic ocean, pacific ocean and the gulf of mexico!

5. had my first hot stone treatment/massage.

6. saw a shooting star.

7. picked figs from a napa valley tree.

8. saw the fab faux - TWICE!

9. overcame my fear of flying.

10. celebrated the best dog in the world's 10th birthday.

11. went to my first "high tea"

12. went to the legendary warner theatre for the first time.

13. ate a porterhouse steak and had the best cabernet ever at francis ford coppola's "cafe zoetrope"

14. partied with a drag queen dressed as anne coulter.

15. walked on air

16. saw the full moon and the morning sun in the sky at the same time on opposite ends of the sky.

17. saw fireworks.

18. showered outside.

19. poured brandy in the hot chocolate.

20. planted flowers, raked leaves, shoveled snow.

21. lost my job.

22. won tickets to U2.

23. prayed a lot.

24. gave thanks.

25. threw a penny in a fountain (no really i did) and made a wish.

26. ate coffee cake in brooklyn.

27. hiked a marin headlands trail.

28. gave blood.

29. slowed down.

30. kept the change.

31. got by with a little help from my friends.

32. moved forward using all my breath.

33. forgave myself.

34. laughed. cried. connected. lived.

What did YOU do?

Monday, November 16, 2009

not that i would run, but...

my platform
don't worry, i am sure there are damaging images of me somewhere that would preclude my run for office...but if i WERE to run...here's what i would be screeching about:

-damaging images no longer preclude one from a political career.
-get out of Afghanistan and Iraq
-end the war on drugs/decriminalize marijuana
-rapists, child molesters and elderly-beaters - life in prison no parole
-overhaul the No Child Left Behind Act
-tax the churches
-annex mexico
-legalize prostitution (regulate the business, protect the sex workers and clients from disease and abuse)
-liberals: NO MORE WHINING
-conservatives: NO MORE PREACHING
-shut down Monsanto
-condoms on every corner
-birth control in the water
-every American must screen Waiting for Guffman when they turn 18.
-every American must sample The White Album and Dark Side of the Moon, whenever they want, but before age 25.
-no more plastic production
-Dancing With the Stars is the new enemy of state.
-more rights for divorced dads (overhaul the family courts)
-teachers, social workers, care-givers, first responders -- all get audited and those still standing get 40% raises.
-2 words: solar power
-pinot noir, goat cheese, and ginger snaps become their own food groups
-free health insurance for pets (put THAT in your reform pipe and smoke it)
-tea parties are limited to little girls and old ladies, and tea is actually SERVED
-no commercials during Mad Men, The Office, Southpark, or The Famliy Guy.
-stupid is now class 1 misdemeanor
-breeding stupid? a felony
-production of styrofoam, phenylalanine, Scientologists, bovine growth hormone, and Jon Gosselin's TV career stop NOW
-bike lanes in every city and town
-Halliburton-KBR pay us all back for the wanton quadruple over-billing of the wars in iraq and afghanistan - WITH TREBEL DAMAGES.
-no more selling "skinny"
-dark chocolate for everyone!

my name is andrea and i approve this ad

Friday, November 13, 2009

dear zachary:


tonight i watched the documentary that your dad's friend, kurt kuenne made for you - his letter to you - about your dad's short life.  he travelled the world looking for pieces of your dad to show you.  but the inspired mr. kuenne had no idea that when he started his project, your little life would be cut short, too -  by the same woman who took your dad from you.  mr. kuenne almost gave up on his project in the wake of your tragic death.

why continue with a letter you would never see?

fortunately, dear zachary, he found two other people to whom the letter - his film - would be written.  and those are the two people who fought for you, loved you, believed in you:  your grandparents.  tonight, i met your amazing grandparents through mr. kuenne's eyes.  and even though i cannot see through my own tears right now, i see very clearly why the project went on.

dear zachary:  your death was not in vain.  your life and your dad's life breathe through all that knew you both.  and kid, you should SEE the sparkle in their eyes as they go on and on about both of you!

and mr. and mrs bagby, your grandparents, who i saw you love very sweetly and very deeply in the footage of your 13 months here on earth, are now child advocates for children just like you. and they will do everything in their power to see that NOT ONE MORE CHILD gets handed over to danger.

ever again.

and they do this in YOUR name.

in your memory.

dear zachary,  tonight i said a prayer and asked the universe to give strength to your grandparents. and the next time i see a star (it's been cloudy here, dear zachary) i will say a prayer for you. and your dad.

a man in the film said it best:  'grief is love's unwillingness to let go'.  and dear zachary, your grandparents will never let go of you.  

dear zachary movie trailer

conversation with director kurt keunne



Tuesday, November 10, 2009

facebook status updates i have censored -- UNTIL NOW


The Facebook Status Updates I Have Censored-UNTIL NOW
so it has been more than a year now that i have been on facebook. and over the months, these are the status updates i held back. this is not something to be cut and pasted and used to harrass everyone on YOUR friends list. just sit back and enjoy! or cringe...

Andrea...

...is crampy and bloated.

...wants to unfriend you, but secretly loves watching you make an ass of yourself on FB.

...couldn't care less about your dinner plans. probably all lies anyway.

...ran out of toilet paper 3 days ago. thank GOD there are paper towels!

...just drank 3 glasses of wine and is reaching for a new bottle.

...has that not-so-fresh feeling.

...still knows what you did last summer.

...is watching an Andy Griffith marathon.

...wonders why you posted that pic of yourself.

...ran 6.2 miles at 5am and still hasn't showered (5pm)

...is trolling the personals ads.

...just drove home drunk.

...drinks the tap water.

...has the runs.

...is stalking the shit out of her -ex's friends' lists.

...thinks your dog us butt ugly, but clicked "like" on its picture anyway.

...just ate a whole fucking bag of pretzels, while i posted that i just ate an orange.

...thinks you are gay.

...just shaved you know where.

...forgot to flush the toilet. who cares? the dog? no!

...knows some secrets being circulated about you on FB that would make you cringe.

...hopes this list made you laugh so hard you sharted.

Monday, November 9, 2009

circe

serendipity brought this to me today.
i don't have an island palace or power or magic,
but i get it:


But I would give up
rock-fringes of coral
and the inmost chamber
of my island palace
and my own gifts
and the whole region
of my power and magic
for your glance.

-H.D.

the brown sweater

so i had a brief but intense path-crossing with a woman who, among other things, told me about a sweater.

a brown sweater.

her FAVORITE sweater.

and it was troubling her that it was so old and there was even a hole in it and it quite possibly had seen its last days on her body.  i remember hearing about the sweater in a phone call first.  and, as always inspired by her to do, i listened to every word, every nuance, every inflection and every emotion that the woman used to describe the sweater.  her attachment to this sweater oozed lovingly from every syllable that she issued.  she adored this sweater, this was for certain.  but it was also clear that this sweater and her were soon to part ways.  it had seen its best days, she said, and the hole?  well, that hole was going to eventually be the catalyst of the soon-to-be sweater separation.  i found myself caught with her, in that seemingly trapped place of sweater-keeping indecision -- where emotional and practical vie for triumph, and wondered if perhaps she could hang on to the smallest sweetest joys that the sweater brought - at least in the SPIRIT OF small sweet joy, which of course, is huge.

it was in that phone conversation that i asked her not to toss it/donate it/recycle it just yet.

could i please SEE the sweater before you part with it?

yes, she said into her cell phone receiver.  and i could hear her smiling. but i kept that to myself, smiling.

so one day, about a week or so later, i was visiting her and we were meeting for coffee (she joined me from her office on or near to her lunch hour) and when i saw her walking toward me, i complemented her sweater. and i'll be damned if she didn't say: "this is the brown sweater i need to throw away".  i was slowed in my tracks and just could not believe it.

THAT is the sweater?  but there's nothing WRONG with it!

in fact,

let me tell you how it accentuated her perfect form.  no wait.  i cannot.  there are no words to describe that. ok then, let me tell you how beautifully the woolly brown weave blended into the long cinnamon-spiced streaks of her side-graying light-brown hair.  well, i can't do that either.  i am not that word-worthy.  ok, i wonder if i can muster how the dark of the sweater rendered a sunny day in her her sky-blue eyes?  sorry, can't give THAT justice, either.

damn.

ok, let me try this, which is more important anyway:  she looked comfy and easy and natural in it.  she was comfortable in her own skin with her own skin wrapped up in that sweater.  the old brown favorite sweater of unknown fate.  i asked her again, now looking into her eyes: 


don't throw it away to PLEASE keep it? 


this time, i SAW her smile and she nodded and said she would.

but still, she showed me the hole that bothered her so.  wow.  not only was the hole NOT VISIBLE, it just didn't matter.

it's just a hole.  a blemish that in no way shape or form (puns intended) impede the sweater's love for her nor her love for the sweater.  at this point, looking into her eyes, walking in an urgent sideways stride facing her graceful forward gait, i insisted she keep it.  i was not asking anymore:

keep the sweater.  keep.  the.  sweater.

The perfect feel and the perfect fit CAN BE imperfect in places.  a hole is not the end of the world; it's not even a setback.  it's just a hole.  it's what you DO WITH the hole that keeps the feel and fit you love alive and new.   the little hole can be filled every second with all the little things, the little joys, the little inspirations that make life feel so big.  in that spirit, you keep love alive.  because the way i see it, you can't be whole with out hole.

can you?

Friday, October 23, 2009

you can try

your best to help someone in danger:

you can show good example;
you can reach out your hand;
you can offer your time;
you can offer your love;
you can listen;
you can be gentle;
and of course, you can pray.

the thing is?

when you try to help someone, someone who REALLY needs it,
an age old cliche sometimes smacks cold in the warmth of your efforts.

you know the one.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

the adirondacks

no, not the mountain range...but maybe you will keep reading anyway?

so, i am not sure when my adult fixation on adirondack chairs began (but i can get within a couple of years and will do so in a few paragraphs) but i sure do know the reason for it.

like most of my fond childhood memories, this one is all about my grandparents, and summer visits to their home. at this point i will have to let you know that my grandparents were the salt of the earth: beautiful; peaceful; intelligent; kind to each other and everyone else. they lived simply, and mostly with their hands, even though both were white collar professionals dedicated to public service: he a WW2 Vet who was a middle school principal then a social worker, she a 1st grade teacher for more than 40 years (see what i mean?).

anyway, back those warm, breezy days on their 2-acre spread, where granddad oversaw what we called "the orchard", which consisted of 2 pear and 2 apple trees, the fruits of which grandad sliced with his swiss army pocket knife for a snack and which grandma canned, or made preserves, or pies. there was also a vegetable garden, a huge bounty of carrots and sweet potatoes and corn and cucmubers and snap beans and tomatoes. again, the harvest was canned/preserved mostly, but often picked fresh as needed for lunch or dinner. the garden was a long walk from the house, just past the orchard. and near one of the pear trees, was the chair that became known as "andrea's chair", a sturdy, wooden, hastily white-washed adirondack chair - dubbed so by my grandmother, whose affection for me was unconditional, unyielding and unmatched.

ok, my grandmother -- wow -- this woman taught me more about life, love, and living than anyone. through her gentle eyes, i saw that i was the most special person in the whole world, as did everyone she ever laid those eyes on.  let this set the tone for the rest of what you are about to read.

as a little girl, my hair was long-ish, very blonde, thick. my grandmother used to love to touch it, "pet" it, smile at me and comment on it. on accasion, she would wash it in the old timey sink in their downstairs bathroom. i really loved this time we'd spend together; she'd tell me a story as she lathered way too much johnson's baby shampoo (no more tears, thank you), usually something about my mom or aunt when they were little girls. i LIVED for these stories! she'd rub gently and thoroughly and lovingly, and always mentioned that when you rinse, you know your hair is clean when it "squeaks". i'd beg her to "make it squeak" (accomplished by her rubbing her tightly closed hands along my clean, wet locks) over and over again. just to "be sure" - and to prolong this special time i am sure. we'd hear it "squeak" 5 or 6 times before i gave the "OK" for the towel, because at the end of this ritual was what i REALLY couldn't wait to partake of. so then she'd gently dab with a huge thirsty terry cloth towel (the kind ONLY found in your grandma's linen closet), and i knew i was one step closer to the grandest of finales.

from the sink, she and i would walk together, my hair damp and the ends dotted with water droplets, out the back door, to the orchard, and over to the big white adirondack chair by the pear tree. there was something about climbing up over the top and sinking down into the chair that made my young body feel triumphant and "grown up". i'd sit still and grandma would comb the "tangles" out of my squeaky fresh hair ever so gently and we'd make sure that chair was in the sun so, as she would say, your hair can be "sun kissed" while it dries. then she'd look at me with a twinkly smile and ask, "orange or lime?" i'd usually say "lime". grandma would walk back into the house and return with a bowl full of lime sherbet for me. i'd smile and pull it close with both hands, delerious with anticipation. as i shovelled the sherbet into my watering mouth, she'd primp and fluff and "check" my hair for dryness, saying that in the time it took me to finish my sherbet, it ought to be dry. she would leave me to my lime treat, and i'd lap it up as fast as i could before the heat of the day melted it into the inevitable green puddle at the bottom of the bowl. i'd spoon this lime liquid into my mouth like cold soup and fall gently and triumphantly back into the wooden valley of that sturdy chair, clinking my spoon rhythmically on the porcelain bowl and surveying the ripe pears that had fallen from the tree around me while my hair dried. i'd gather three or four (as many would fit in my sticky-sweet bowl) and run them into my grandmother. she's smile down at me, thank me, and we'd run them under the faucet, dry them, and place them just so as a centerpiece on her table.

fast forward 30 years.

a dear friend in houston had 2 adirondack chairs on her porch. i never EVER went over her place without sitting in one and insisting she brave the heat and mosquitoes and enjoy them with me. i often recounted the story you just read, and she'd listen each time, sincerely and sweetly. one time, she even bought sherbet and brought me some in a bowl. she cracked a beer and smiled as i showed my appreciation and lapped up a childhood memory. we even had a joke between us that those chairs would be bequeathed to me in her will. i wonder if they are?

suffice it to say, any time i see an adirondack chair, especially a set of two, i smile. lately, i have taken to shooting pictures of them when i find them in unlikely places. i will share the two i have so far, and maybe i will add more as i gather more:



these two i found on a grassy knoll in washington heights, nyc, right after i got our of my car after driving 4 hours to meet a friend for a concert later that night (late sept).  i ran right over to them (on my way to her place) and snapped this one.  you can see that they overlook the staggering george washington bridge and the mighty hudson.




these two i stumbled on when i took a stroll through the willilam hill estate winery in early october.  check out the view of the rolling hills of grapes! 

right now i just wish i had a picture of that big, sturdy, wooden, hastily white-washed adirondack chair under the pear tree in my grandad's orchard.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

i woke up this morning

thinking about light-sparkled waves and sea salt on chocolate. pondering figs and wild sunflowers and peaches and cinnamon. imagining yesterdays and tomorrows where flashbacks flash forward to meet in the same frame. feeling the place where reaching out reaches much deeper inside - the place where foreign and familiar embrace under the stars. have you ever been here before?  i am.  right now.

Monday, July 27, 2009

some things you just can't unsee


















and there are some things you want
etched in your mind's eye forever.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

so sarah palin

says, even though she IS quitting alaska, she is NOT quitting politics. wow, what a great time to be tina fey's agent.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

away we go!











touching love story, searing soundtrack. same guy who directed amercan beauty. here's the trailer. now away you go!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

so this morning,

i saw the coolest thing.

i was on my morning run, which, depending on the time of year, usually starts with a moon in a black sky slowly giving way to the heavenly wafts of grays, purples, pinks, and oranges of sunrise. usually, the moon is long gone before the actual sun peeks over the horizon. but something happened THIS morning that i don't think i have ever seen.

as i was inahling the hypnotic presence of last night's staggering full moon, still hanging so high in the last dark of the western sky, i could see, toward the east, a hint of daylight. and to my delight, what unfolded, after about 20 more minutes, was this awe-inspiring view of the sun due east about 5 degrees above the horizon and the moon in the same position to the west. i was literally stopped in my tracks and just kept turning to take in both. i think i have seen the sun and the moon in the sky together, but never with such symmetry and never during a full moon.

now, the idea of SEEING this was fascinating enough. (it doesn't take much to fascinate me, clearly) but FEELING IT: i mean, drinking in the exhilirating cocktail of lunar AND solar energy -- WOW. i felt like i was at the place where yin met yang for the first time. it was zen, balance, and peace all in one deep breath. so i exhaled gratitude and gave thanks for little blessings like this. i am one lucky girl. i really am.

i wish you could have felt it with me.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

food for thought

there is an american hero you probably haven't heard about. his name is jeol salatin. he runs polyface farms in the breathtaking shenandoah valley of the commonwealth of virginia. there is another american hero you may have heard about. his name is eric schlossel, the author of fast food nation. so why am i writing about these two people? well, i was moved to the core by a film i just saw, featuring both of these heroes, called Food, Inc.

now, before you think this is gonna be some pinko commie rant about hugging trees and saving whales, think again. and i mean REALLY think. think about the meat you just ate: was the cow corn fed or grass fed? did you know that the difference between the two is as relevant to the world's safety as where iran points its nukes? did you know that since the monsanto company has a PATENT on a SEED that a farmer cannot reseed his own land? can you imagine not reseeding your tomato garden? did you know that our government upholds that criminal mentality and that FARMERS and their FAMILIES are being stalked and interrogated as if they were masterminding a terrorist plot? and did you know the the bushes, colin powell AND the clintons are in bed with these monsanto thugs? i didn't know any of this. until i saw the film.

now, are you thinking this is some sort of lopsided michael-moore-esque farenheit 911? no. it's not insulting and guerilla-style restated obviousness (sorry michael moore, i am on your side, but you really blew some wonderful resources). food, inc. is fair and loving and kind, but brutal and heartbreaking all at once. it is a well-woven documentary about the FACTS behind your food. NOT whether you should eat it or not, but why you should and CAN make CHOICES about WHERE and HOW it gets to your table. this film is important and inspiring. this film is stark and maddening. i was moved from tears to anger to gratitude in 180 minutes. let this one will rivet you.

i hope you will go see it and i hope you will see the twinkle in eric schlossel and joel palatin's eyes and feel the love in their hearts. for all of us.

clean food = clean bodies = clean souls = a better planet
here's the trailer.

Monday, July 6, 2009

bombs bursting in air

so how perfect can a july 4th get? well, how 'bout reservations at the george, capitol hill. ok, so how 'bout arriving and then being told they overbooked so they will be giving complimentary accomodations at the rouge (another kimpton) in georgetown? (you saw the word complimentary, right?) oh and please add to our apologies free valet parking AND a hot stone in-room massage. um, ok...apology accepted! toss in a charming afternoon walk thru georgetown, dinner at Logan (the sashimi tuna on arugula, rustic 5-grain bread, fried calamari with ginger sauce and of course, lemon-basil mojitoes), a liesurely trek down to E-Street theater to see "Away We Go" (two thumbs up AND a brilliant sound track), and all of that followed by a stroll down to the Mall just in time for the show. perfect.

happy birthday, america!
and many many more.



Thursday, June 25, 2009

another icon...

she lost her battle with cancer, and i am mostly sad because of the way her last days were spent in pain, withering away. so far removed from the vibrant innocence she exuded decades ago. farrah fawcett, out of nowhere, changed the face of beauty. she brought a down-home simplicity to an otherwise untouchable facet of american popular culture. a beauty queen with a warm and welcoming sense of herself, and her self never taken too seriosuly.

farrah, you finally got your wings, and i am sure they are feathered back.

Monday, June 22, 2009

i saw her standing there

it took me several glances but i am pretty sure it was her. the light was dim and the music was loud and i had had some drinks, and i wasn't sure. until i noticed how detached, how silent, how frumpy, and how DOWNRIGHT MISERABLE she looked. then i was sure. quite sure. of that and a whole lot more.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

all apologies

late night tv still in the news, and this time it's disturbing.

ok. so due to nbc's nail-in-the-coffin replacement of jay's time slot with conan, we had the jay vs dave debate last week. no-brainer:dave wins that debate. hands down. oh you are wondering why jay has higher ratings? have you sampled the intelligence of the american television watching population lately? there's your answer. jay appeals to vanilla. and stupid. he's a no-talent hack who steals his specialty bits from howard stern. old, tired news. done. but now, we are in the throes of a darker late night tv controversy.

david letterman tells a joke about sarah palin's knocked up unmarried daughter and the likelihood that she would also get knocked up by alex rodriguez while she attended a recent yankees game. it was funny. it was topical. it was smart, and it was good. and now,the ill-vetted former vice presidential candidate is marching all over the media complaining about it.

come again, sarah?

sarah palin parades her child and the teen aged sperm donor of her unplanned grandchild in front of every single camera she could find to serve HER needs, but no one else can? oh wait, she DID let everyone else use her, at least she did not complain about it. until david letterman did it. WHY? why didn't jay leno have to apologize for HIS jokes about palin's kid? like THIS one he told a studio audience:

"hey did you hear Sarah Palin's daughter is pregnant? Oh boy, John Edwards is in big trouble"

not to mention, what late-night comedian did NOT use palin's knocked up kid as a punchline? jay, conan, kimmel, kilbourne, stewart, colbert...why isn't she calling for all apologies? are you KIDDING ME? or is this no surprise from the woman wanted to be our vice president on the evangelical family values tour ticket with an unwed knocked up teenager?

her defense: she says that dave was talking about willow, her 14 year old. no, sarah, NO ONE ELSE saw it that way. NO ONE. you are lying. i know you have your own carl rove masterminding this effort, but he will be exposed, too. in the meantime, using your logic (underage children should not be targets of off-color jokes), why are you not calling on your former running mate to apologize to the Clinton family? Or have you conveniently forgotten this "joke", told in front of tv cameras by john mccain:

"why is chelsea so ugly? because janet reno is her father"

chelsea was 12 years old, sarah. if that. where's the outrage, sarah?

clearly: she has proven herself an opportunistic media whore;
the republican party has imploded a la the nonsense of hers and others' evangelical bottom-feeder hypocrisy;
and that david letterman is the late night comedy king.

hmmm. i think i am starting to like this broad.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

i never once gave thought to landing

max's kansas city NY 1972

sunday morning
















Sunday morning I'm waking up
Can't even focus on a coffee cup
Don't even know whose bed I'm in
Where do I start
Where do I begin
Where do I start
Where do I begin

Beth Orton

Saturday, June 6, 2009

never heard it until now

So I am cruising along in the Jetta, listening to E Street Radio (Sirius channel 10, 24-7 Bruce Springsteen) and i notice on the display that the current song is a live performance from the Boston Music Hall from 3/25/1977, so HELL YES i am gonna turn it up. Well, he and the band were in the middle of Rosalita, doing that signature intro to all the band members, and i am having so much fun listening to vintage live Bruce, and singing along until he did the cutest thing. Well, he did the cutest thing in '77, but you're still with me, right? OK OK OK: So you know that verse in Rosalita that goes:

But now you're sad, your mama's mad
And your papa says he knows that I don't have any money (papa says he knows that i don't have any money, papa says he knows i don't have any moooneeeey)
Well tell him this is last chance! To get his daughter in a fine romaaaaance
Cuz a record company, Rosie, just gave me a big advance!


well, here is how he sang it in Boston on March 25, 1977:

But now you're sad, your mama's mad
And your papa says he knows that I don't have any money (papa says he knows that i don't have any money, papa says he knows i don't have any moooneeeey)
Well tell him this is last chance! To tell him this guy's no creep!
Cuz I just got my picture, Rosie, on the cover of Time and Newsweek!


Oh it was just so precious. I had never heard it until now, and now suddenly became our late 70's EB kitchen and I can SEE BOTH of those magazines covers on our kitchen table in the mail stack.

Damn, y'all.


Friday, May 29, 2009

ShelB has teenage ears! Watch the video! And take your OWN teenage hearing test!

This is a test that will produce a tone that is generally only heard by people under the age of 25. It has been used as a deterrent device to keep teenagers from loitering in malls and shops, and sounds similar to a buzzing mosquito. Typically the longer you listen to it, the more annoying it gets.

CLICK HERE to see how old your ears are. Got kids? Have them take the test! It's fun for the whole family! My dog even took the test! See how she did here.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

why sotomayor is a great choice for SCOTUS:









NOT that she scraped her way out of the south bronx by making valedictorian and princeton summa cum laude scholarship and yale law review grades;

NOT that she bring more judicial experience to the bench than anyone in the last 100 years;

NOT that she is fair and aware when it comes to hot-button issues like abortion and gay marriage;

BUT

becasue she SAVED MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

you are invited

where: brooklyn, soho, west and east village.
how: in good company, great energy, warm breezes, gentle sun.
when: the first day of my 46th year.
why: why not?
























Wednesday, May 20, 2009

when they said stand up i sat down

springsteen's 5/18 DC show sucked.

ok before you freak out, take a deep breath. it's mostly my fault. for bothering to get tickets. i should have known. i really did know better. sometimes i just get so blinded by hope and denial that between the two, i lose rationale (ask anyone!). and seeing bruce springsteen in washington dc in 2009 is totally irrational.

that said,

i know he's 60. i know this. and i know it was the verizon center 2009, not the bottom line 1977. i know this. and i know 80 kajillion more people (mostly dorks, who thought Born in USA was a patriotic song) like his music, i know this.

and even though and he brought SOME passion,

this show was flat and uninteresting. contrived and over-produced. sanitized, soulless. absent of everything that separates a bruce springsteen show from the pack.

yes, this one was a bust.

i don't GIVE A SHIT that the whole place sang every song word for word. i don't give a shit that it was sold out. i don't give a shit WHO told you how great it was. it wasn't. it just wasn't. i mean, even when he was clearly READING from a floor card -- how important it is to support the DC Central Kitchen (it IS!) he sounded like an obligatory radio PSA. absent of that big, brave bruce HEART.

this was especially disheartening since bruce springsteen, as we all know, can make a whole STADIUM feel his soul, or find something in YOUR soul you missed along the way. where were the personal and intimate song intro's (he CAN DO THIS in huge stadiums - HE HAS DONE THIS in huge stadiums, i SAID that already, right?) -- the way he just talks his way, making it OUR way, into a song? where was the story-teller where from inside his heart he shows you how the song happened until YOU are there, and then, you realize the band has picked up adding a whole new dimension to the experience -- that it's now YOUR story -- and just LIFTS you until you recognize the number and you clutch the arm of the person next to you and you both land right in the middle of eddies' meeting across the river or sandy's last summer, or standing stone like at midnight frozen on tenth avenue.

but it didn't happen, not ONE TIME on may 18th.

i wanted at least ONE song to make me hold tears back - for all the reasons that YOU know about. you DO know.

well, before i write myself off of the ledge, i will tell you about one (and perhaps the only) positive note in the show: as you may know, in recent bruce tour history, people make signs with catchy song request sayings on them. well, that's cool, but all you hopeful signmakers should know that unless your song is in the set list, no matter HOW FUCKING COOL YOUR SIGN IS, he won't show it. anyway, so Bruce is holding a sign and asking the floor: "WHO SENT THIS UP?" turns out a little girl sent it up and it said: "JONAS BROTHERS SCHMONAS BROTHERS! 9 YEAR OLDS ARE "OUT IN THE STREET" tonight, and, so everyone laughed i thanked god that they'd perform a song from the river (and not that fucking outlaw pete shit). and not only did he play it for the little girl, he asked for the kid to come to the stage, and people just crowd-surfed her gently across the floor to the stage and he sat down next to her on the edge of the stage and sang the song with her -- she went word for word. he, at some points, just gave her the mic and let her go. that was a very sweet moment. a total crowd-pleaser. when they were done he gave her a hug and a pat on the head and the crowd carried her back over the audience to her mom. ok -- that WAS good. but it was 1/25 of the whole shitty show. and the vibe was obliterated by that fucking outlaw pete shit.

even the encore blew. no "backstreets". no "meeting across the river" (i know he never plays that). no "jungleland". no "thunder road". NO THUNDER ROAD? FUCK THAT. no "growin' up".
NO GROWIN UP??? i mean, how can you NOT want to hear the crowd sing with you the line "when they said sit down i stood up"? BRUCE WHAT THE FUCK. that's pretty much why, when the crowd stood up i sat down. really. when they were all creamin' over that shit from the wrestler (yes yes it was a great movie butyou know what i mean), i was wondering when you were gonna play "spirit in the night". or "night".

but even though this show was clearly someone else's show (not MY show) i am still a purist, dedicated-to-the-core fan. you know why? and why i still have greetings from asbury park playing every day in my stereo? because if bruce were in my shoes may 18th, and HE had gone to that show for the reasons i did, he'd be feeling the same way. HE hasn't changed, the consumers of his music have. he is just giving the people what they want. and you can't blame the guy for that.

i think i'll put in the wild, the innocent and the e-street shuffle in now.
i like the way "incident on 57th street" flows seamlessly into "rosalita". i just wish i could have heard it the other night.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

i didn't get panned!


my guest appearance as the "health expert" on Serving Donuts got a good review!
click here to see for yourself!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Now Serving Donuts



New! Serving Donuts Podcast!
Listen to the shocking Swine Flu 911 Episode! For the week of May 5th, 2009.






ok so this was super-fun. the amazing and ubiquitous voice talent jim cutler asked me to be a "guest" on his podcast. WASH YOUR HANDS!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

50 years and 400 Blows

It's in my top 10 fave films and 50 years ago this week, Truffaut's THE 400 BLOWS was released onto the world and changed cinema forever. Celebrate this milestone! Get the movie! Drink French wine, eat French pastry! Hell, French KISS somebody!

13 more days...

Sunday, May 3, 2009

fab faux, warner theatre, washington, dc 09 may 2.


Imagine a night of Beatles music inside a DC landmark that once staged vaudeville shows and silent movies! So it was for me, at my first ever Fab Faux show at the Warner Theatre.

Escorted down to our orchestra seats, the breathtaking interior removed me completely from the reason I was even there. I have walked/biked/bused/driven by this theatre at 13th & E many times, but I have NEVER been inside. Wow. I was immediately rendered awestruck by the huge ripples of flowing maroon velvet cinched by gold tassels draping the majestic historic stage which was framed in guilded gold detail. Right away, I realized just how special this night was going to be. So I did the only thing possible: sat down and opened myself up for the energy to come.

set 1:

And so the lights went down and the Fab Faux sparked up launching right into the haunting first chords of I Am the Walrus. Wow. They opened with I Am the Walrus! A collective gasp from every seat was audible by the second note and a thrilling vibe took over the room. And man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allen Poe! I breathed it in and sang every word. From there was woven a well-crafted sampling of Beatles chronology from pop to psychedelia. Lady Madonna and Drive My Car with pitch-perfect harmonies had hundreds of heads bobbing and twice as many feet tapping. No sooner did Day Tripper ended than a cry from Will Lee (lead vocalist) came: "OK let's have some harmony!" And with that, four other voices unleashed Nowhere Man. After Nowhere Man made all his plans for nobody, intruments were adjusted and exchanged, and that innocently sprite opening of Here Comes the Sun brought sweet sighs across the aisles. And how could that NOT be followed by Rain? Another perfect recipe blended to vocal perfection. I Dig a Pony and Tell Me Why kept the wonder and the buzz of the night alive, but no one was prepared for While My Guitar Gently Weeps: out of nowhere, came those timeless, bittersweet opening chords. And Jimmy Vivino's guitar summoned us all to a journey where gently weeping and fiercely rocking become one, and creshendoed with the entire theater standing and offering thunderous, loving applause. Revolution closed the set with EB home boy Jack Petruzelli sneaking in some "shoop do be do wops" (Revolution number 9 anyone?) in all the right places. Wow, and we were only halfway there.

During the break, I went up to the stage to see if i could take a pic of the set list, but the very sweet stage dude asked me if i wanted it! YES! I WANT IT! I tried to be so cool when i thanked him for it but inside I was screaming like a groupie. You could just SEE the envy on people's faces when i strutted back to my seat with that set list, my peacock feathers. :)

After the break: the featured set, Revolver! Revolver was the first Beatles record I ever owned. And, to be hearing it performed at my first Fab Faux experience AND my first time inside the Warner Theatre (!!) -- does it get better that that? Oh...it DID!

set 2:

Lead-off batter is the Taxman, yeeaaaah I'm the tax maaaaan. Next up? Eleanor Rigby, carried brilliantly by the amazing 2-woman Creme Tangerine Strings (bass cello and violin). Moving through to Yellow Submarine -- the audience "happy favorite" -- nudged playfully by Will Lee to sing along and sing along is what we did! From little kids to people my parents' age -- everyone sailed on to the sun as the Fab Faux navigated an etherial musical sound effect experience. It really was clear at that moment that every one of us (every one of us) has all we need (all we need).

Here There and Everywhere really brought the older folks in the audience alive, many of those couples snuggling closer maybe it was at one time "their song"? One thing is for sure: it was their song in that moment. She Said She Said showed us drummer Rich Pagano like we hadn't seen him yet that night WHOAH! It also made me remember how much I'd forgotten (and loved!) that song.

At this point, the jolly-adorable Frank Agnello asked us to "turn the record over" and then Vivino said something about separating seeds -- to much laughter, and some confusion (I laughed). And side 2 began with Good Day Sunshine's winsome percussion giving way to For No One's bittersweet beauty. Got to Get You Into My Life (carried by the bold brass of the Hogshead Horns) took me and every other east coast "kid" in the house "down the shore" -- for some reason, that song reminds us all of that trek to the freedom of the atlantic ocean -- you guys know who you are. And sadly, I realized the last song (and my Revolver favorite) of the album had arrived, and so with a deep sigh I inhaled the soul-searing trippy-psychelic Tomorrow Never Knows, featuring the sitar stylings of Jimmy Vivino.

the encore:

A 5-song balls out serenade that began with Will Lee screaming "After Revolver, we wanna ROCK!" That sparked the unmistakable riff of Paperback Writer, followed by Penny Lane, where the Hogshead Horns stole the show. My eyes and ears took in every second of that song because it's so rich with "extras" and the Fab Faux missed nothing. I Want the Money brought the old folks back into sing-a-long mode (is it ok to say that i prefer the Flying Lizards' cover of this song?) And the night ended with All You Need Is Love. Right down to "she loves you, yeah yeah yeah", it was the perfect end to a perfect evening. My cheeks were sore from the 2 1/2 hour perma-grin on my face. As I made my way out of the venue, I could overhear tidbits of lively conversations, but my favorite was from a boy, no more than 10 years old, holding his dad's hand, looking up and declaring: "Dad, that was awesome!" And so onto another generation is passed the Beatles' seminal and timeless gift that helps us all make our way across the universe.

If the Fab Faux come to your city, go.

Friday, May 1, 2009

big flu, pig flu...ha ha charade you are



you may recognize the plagiarism in my title, swiped from the pink floyd song "pigs" from the "animals" album. but really, isn't this whole swine flu thing a charade? there are only 2 winners in this hype: racists and ratings.

hard to fathom that america's bottom-feeders are calling for the us-mexico border to be closed because someone died from a flu virus. where were those racists when the other 35,999 people died from various flu virrii this past year?

and let's give the media their due: it is after all, may sweeps and broadcasters are vying for your viewership. so it's their JOB to hype this to the hilt. but again, where was the "breaking news" when the other 35,999 people died from flu virii this past year?

turn off the tv and live your life. and if you REALLY are wondering if you have the pig flu, i mean, if the racists and the raters have REALLY gotten you THAT paranoid, you can check out this website, JUST to make sure -- DO YOU HAVE THE SWINE FLU? FIND OUT HERE!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Hollyrock and Roll Reunion



how do i explain a random, playful, 5-person conversation facebook thread balloons into an event that would reunite me with a decades old past? how do i explain how this impromptu notion wound up with its own web site, media attention, five live bands, thousands in raffle prizes, (netting 8 thousand for charity!) and turn out hundreds of former classmates whose smiling faces and sweet embraces took me RIGHT BACK back to those coming of age ties that bind us forver? how do i describe a 30-year walk back in time that felt timeless? how do i explain why it's been a week and i am still high as a kite about it all? not sure i really can. but i will try.

as you can imagine, this requires a backstory.


so, you remember the flintstones. no i am serious. the cartoon. the stone age family? recall that their word for hollywood was hollyrock (you remember everything was "rock" oriented). well...apparently, way back in the mid 70's in east brunswick, nj, some guys who went to my future high school were partaking of the kind bud and their restless, creative adolescent minds came up with the idea of dubbing their school hollyrock high. the idea took off to the point that those words ended up ON THE SCHOOL in spray paint overnight and lo and behold a tradition was born as a new year would pass:










so this became a prank that was pulled off successfully for about 6 years. back then, not many of us even knew the origin of hollyrock, it just was. and we really did rock. we really really did. we had the good fortune of WNEW, WPLJ, WPIX (Jim Kerr's Sunday AM show anyone?) the Rutgers station...we cut our rockin' teeth on the most progressive,the most intelligent, the PUREST music on the planet. we were fed sets that included pink floyd, bruce, xtc, lou reed and patti smith while other kids across the country got stale top 40 and over-produced deejay shit. not us. not east brunswick! we ROCKED -- ALL OF US ROCKED. our population 48,000 central-jersey bedroom district of NYC was also a place that produced national merit scholars who followed grateful dead shows, children of fortune 500 execs who sold nickel bags of columbian gold, a girls' basketball team that blasted "exile on main street" on a boom box at practice, the world's first ever computer nerds who sneaked off to frank zappa or clash shows, an art teacher who played abbey road to "inspire" the water color assignment. no matter who you were, where you were, what you did best, what you did worst -- you simply ROCKED. so when a coupla guys decided on hollyrock, who could argue? we were raised on the flintstones AND we rocked. it just worked.


ok, fast forward 30 years. remember the facebook thread? the random playful thread on facebook came to life? well...the anticipation of the event was almost as exciting as BEING there, as those of us who had reconnected via facebook chatted about how great it was going to be to see each other after nearly 3 decades. here we were in our middle age, finding ourselves through others -- and they told two friends, and they told two friends, and so on and so on. in fact, some of us who were virtual strangers to each other in our youth were now virtually CONNECTED! we marveled over each others' accomplishments, complemented our classmates' gorgeous and growing families, supported each other in our daily trials and tribulations. best friends, acquaintances, crushes, teammates, band members, neighbors, friends of siblings, admirers, etc -- no matter what we meant to each other THEN, we were together again, NOW. and the anticipation of "consummating" that new connection was palpable - even via pixels on our laptops! we talked about what we would wear, when we'd arrive, where we were staying, planned a pre- and an after party and just kept chatting about how great the night was going to be. but none us us had any idea.



the big day arrived. and as simply as i can put it, it was as IF someone had simply called me and said "party at the elks tonight: harold got a bunch of bands together". we showed up, one by one -- some of us at a pre-dinner, others straight to the venue. the weather was perfect. the energy was vibrant and the past met the future as if they'd never parted ways.



we danced, we sang, we kissed and hugged and screamed as we recognized our former classmates, in some cases as "former" as elementary school! granted, some people took longer to recognize than others, but the feeling of innocence and wondering what our futures would hold came rushing back in those smiling face and sweet embraces.

and on this night, the future was magical.





1981, representing (more pix to come!)